Being addicted to relationships is a real experience for some people, and goes beyond simply enjoying a romantic connection. Relationship addiction occurs when the need to be in a relationship becomes compulsive, affecting personal emotional well-being, decision-making, and daily functioning.
For some individuals, the pull toward romantic relationships can feel overwhelming, like a psychological craving that doesn’t disappear when a relationship begins or ends. While healthy relationships provide support and connection, relationship addiction can cause romantic involvement to dominate thoughts and behaviors in ways that are difficult to control. This pattern often leads to repeated unhealthy relationships, emotional distress, and difficulty maintaining a sense of identity or stability outside of romantic attachment.
What Causes Relationship Addiction?
Relationship addiction develops over time through a mix of emotional experiences, learned behaviors, and coping habits. For many people, relationships become a way to feel safe, valued, or emotionally steady — until connection starts to feel like a need rather than a choice.
Early Attachment Experiences
Our first relationships, especially with parents or caregivers, shape how we connect with others later in life. When someone grows up without steady love, attention, or emotional safety, they may learn to look for those feelings in romantic relationships. Over time, a partner can start to replace the sense of security that was missing in childhood, making it hard to feel okay or complete when alone.
Reward Pathways in the Brain
Being in love activates the brain’s “feel-good” system. Chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin are released during closeness and bonding, creating feelings of pleasure and comfort. For some people, the brain starts to link relationships with emotional survival, not just happiness. This can make romance feel addictive, especially when it’s used to escape stress or emotional pain.
Relationships as a Coping Mechanism
When someone feels lonely, stressed, or unsure of themselves, a relationship can become their main way of coping. Instead of dealing with hard emotions on their own, they may rely on a partner for comfort, distraction, or reassurance. While this helps in the moment, it often deepens dependence and increases the fear of being alone.
Unresolved Trauma or Attachment Insecurity
Past emotional wounds, abandonment, or unresolved trauma can deeply influence how someone forms and maintains relationships. Unresolved experiences may lead to intense attachment, fear of rejection, or patterns of codependency. These dynamics can pull individuals toward unstable or unhealthy relationships, reinforcing the belief that connection (even when painful) is better than being alone.
Recognizing these influences is an important step toward change. With awareness, support, and healing, people can begin to build healthier connections rooted in balance, self-worth, and choice (rather than fear or dependence).
Symptoms of Relationship Addiction (Not Love Addiction)
It’s important to clarify that relationship addiction isn’t the same thing as love addiction, although they overlap. Love addiction is a form of compulsive attachment to the feeling of being in love. Relationship addiction, on the other hand, focuses on the compulsive need to be in a relationship itself. That means someone may quickly jump from partner to partner, or prioritize relationships to the detriment of other parts of their life.
Signs of a possible relationship addiction include:
- Feeling unable to be alone or afraid of being without a partner
- Quickly moving from one relationship to another
- Sacrificing personal values, goals, or friendships to maintain romantic involvement
- Feeling anxious or depressed when not attached to a partner
- Repeating patterns of unhealthy relationships
- Obsessively thinking about partners or potential partners
- Ignoring red flags or tolerating mistreatment to avoid being alone
- Using relationships to escape personal problems or emotional discomfort
- Feeling extreme jealousy or possessiveness
- Difficulty setting or respecting boundaries in relationships
These symptoms go beyond normal love or attachment. They reflect behaviors that feel out of control and can seriously impact well-being. Recognizing them is the first step toward breaking the cycle and building healthier patterns of connection.
The Dangers of Relationship Addiction
While relationships are a healthy and enriching part of life, addiction-like patterns can cause real harm when the need to be in a relationship becomes compulsive rather than balanced.
Loss of self-identity
People may fade entirely into their partner’s world, losing sight of personal interests, career goals, and friendships. Over time, this can erode self-esteem and make it difficult to maintain a sense of who they are outside of the relationship.
Unhealthy dynamics
Relationship addicts often remain in cycles of conflict, insecurity, or emotional volatility because they fear being alone. They may tolerate mistreatment, avoid necessary confrontations, or become overly controlling to maintain the relationship.
Emotional instability
Constant peaks and valleys of romantic obsession can lead to anxiety, depression, or emotional exhaustion. These swings can affect work, friendships, and overall mental health.
Difficulty forming healthy attachments
Patterns of intense early bonding followed by loss can make it challenging to sustain stable, reciprocal relationships later in life. Trust issues, boundary struggles, and fear of rejection often persist.
Neglect of personal growth
People caught in relationship addiction may prioritize romantic involvement over self-development, education, or career opportunities, delaying or limiting long-term personal fulfillment.
Chronic dependency
A persistent need for a partner to feel “whole” can prevent emotional independence, leaving individuals vulnerable to manipulation or repeated cycles of toxic relationships. This pattern is distinct from simple dependency or insecurity. It is a persistent coping strategy that feeds on the emotional highs and lows of romantic involvement.
Can You Grow Out of Relationship Addiction?
Many people do change over time, especially with awareness and support. Personal growth, emotional maturity, and life experiences (such as individual therapy, self-reflection, or periods of being single) can all help someone learn to form healthier relationship patterns. With intentional work, the intense compulsive pull toward relationships can lessen, allowing space for autonomy, balanced connections, and emotional regulation.
Treatment for Relationship Addiction
Since people who are addicted to relationships often also struggle with other emotional or psychological conditions, effective treatment typically addresses both the addictive patterns and any co-occurring mental health concerns.
Psychotherapy and Counseling
Therapy is one of the most effective tools for breaking the cycle of relationship addiction. Approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), attachment-based therapy, and trauma-focused therapy can help individuals:
- Recognize unhealthy relationship patterns
- Understand underlying triggers and emotional needs
- Learn healthier ways to manage emotions and cope with loneliness
- Set and maintain personal boundaries
For those with co-occurring conditions, therapy can simultaneously address anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. This can reduce the intensity of addictive relationship behaviors.
Support Groups and Peer Communities
Connecting with others who face similar challenges can be incredibly empowering. Groups such as Love Addicts Anonymous (LAA) or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) provide peer support, accountability, and a structured program for recovery. Sharing experiences in a safe space can help participants feel understood while learning practical strategies for healthy relationships.
Developing Emotional Regulation Skills
Integrated Care for Co-Occurring Conditions
Creating a Balanced Life
Ultimately, treatment for relationship addiction aims to help individuals build a life that is fulfilling whether or not they are in a relationship. This includes cultivating hobbies, friendships, career goals, and personal growth so that romantic connection becomes a healthy part of life – not the sole source of emotional well-being.
Recovery from relationship addiction is a journey. With awareness, professional support, and the right tools, it is entirely possible to create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Get Mental Health Support at First Steps Recovery
If you recognize the signs of being addicted to relationships in yourself or someone you care about, help is available. First Steps Recovery provides compassionate, evidence-based support for individuals struggling with relationship addiction and co-occurring mental health conditions.
Whether you’re seeking therapy, joining support groups, or getting an assessment of emotional patterns, reaching out is a powerful first step toward breaking unhealthy cycles, building healthier connections, and achieving greater emotional freedom. Contact First Steps Recovery to start your journey toward healthier, more balanced relationships and lasting emotional well-being.
Dr. Belis Aladag is a board-certified physician in Addiction Medicine and Family Medicine, with a Master of Public Health from Johns Hopkins. She brings more than 15 years of experience in clinical care, medical education, and leadership. Recognized as a “Top Doctor” in Sacramento Magazine and Los Angeles Magazine, Dr. Aladag is dedicated to compassionate, evidence-based care and expanding access to mental health and addiction services.
