The Danger of Enabling

The Danger of Enabling

Picture of Dr. Norris Von Curl, II, MD

Dr. Norris Von Curl, II, MD

When one of our loved ones is struggling with addiction, we can feel powerless. This leads us to help them in any way we can. However, our attempt to help those we see in need is often the very thing keeping them in addiction. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 10% of US adults are struggling with addiction, and 75% don’t seek help.

This can be for several reasons, but one of the biggest reasons for not seeking treatment is believing that addiction is not severe. Unless someone around us tells us the severity of our addiction, we may never change our habits. This article discusses what enabling looks like and how we can help those around us choose rehabilitation for addiction.

What Is Enabling?

When we have a loved one or friend struggling with addiction, we may feel completely helpless. According to Social Work in Public Health, addiction present in one or more members of a family can change the entire family structure and relationship. This huge shift can lead to us keeping the peace, offering comfort, or shielding ourselves from the pain by ignoring the situation. However, these actions can lead to the addict feeling their addiction is not as severe as it is. This is enabling; it gives the user the space or excuse to continue using even when it’s actively destroying their lives and yours.

We don’t realize we are causing this enabling, but unless the addict in question is seeking treatment, then they are in some way being enabled. While someone’s addiction is not your fault, it’s your responsibility to be honest with them. Addiction is a disease. Until that harsh truth is faced, they can never make the decision for treatment. Yet, it’s hard to detect when we are enabling them. Especially if you feel your communication is always on the defensive. To guard against these pitfalls, it is crucial to recognize our actions for what they are.

Signs of Enabling

There are several ways that we can enable. The first is by ignoring the issue. When an uncomfortable or strange event happens in front of us, we are often unprepared to respond to the situation, When this occurs, sometimes we can take the path of least resistance by ignoring the issues at hand. This can be exaggerated when both parties struggle to express emotions. Addiction is a complex subject that affects more than just our physical state. Bringing it up as a point of conversation can break the long-held silence leading to their continued substance abuse.

Another way this enabling occurs is by lying to others to cover up an addict’s actions. While we believe we have complete control over our actions and morals, when faced with the pressure of an addict, our worst efforts can come out. This is because we are desperate to maintain the status quo of normality in our lives. However, this further reinforces that addiction is ok to live with. The best thing we can do, for you and your loved one, is to tell the truth.

Another sign is blaming those around you instead of the addict. The stress on families that is caused by substance abuse is immense. This brings us to our lowest point, letting us express emotions that aren’t honest with what we believe. We can also use blaming techniques to protect the user, allowing them to feel it isn’t all their fault. However, this removes the control and growth possible for the person struggling with an addiction. In order to save them from harm, you have to help them face the reality of treatment.

How to Help

When we watch our loved ones spiral out of control, we can often feel anger or frustration from being unable to help. However, sometimes the best way to help is by not covering for them or attempting to help them through their difficulty. In order for loved ones to fully realize their issue, they have to be without options. When they are constantly given an out, it’s easy to dismiss the habitual use as normal.

Helping as a loved one is learning to let someone fall enough to face their destruction. Being able to discuss treatment with them during this time can be the difference between their continued use and their freedom. This is not an easy job for either party, but it’s possible for everyone to be free from the pain of addiction.

You Are Not Alone

The process of fighting isolation can feel lonely, whether you are the one dealing with addiction or the one helping. However, you are not alone. There are millions of individuals struggling with the same pain and struggle. First Steps Recovery aims to make this process easier for you, removing the painful aspects of addiction treatment. We want our clients to feel as welcome as possible. Once admitted into treatment, our patients can focus on bettering themselves. In the latter portions of inpatient treatment, we welcome family and friends to visit. This is a team process, and we want you to join.

The effects of addiction on those we love are horrifying, but we tend to overlook the damages it is causing to you and your family. Addiction treatment is not only striking at the heart of the individual’s pain, but it aims to fix a longer-lasting effect on those around them. At First Steps Recovery, we take into account both parties, aiming to serve everyone in a way that best serves them for the future. Health not only entails physical well-being but also emotional security. We want you to gain your happiness again, free from the worries of substance abuse. Fighting addiction is a reality that can be won. For more information, please call First Steps Recovery at (844) 489-0836.

The effects of addiction on those we love are horrifying, but we tend to overlook the damages it is causing to you and your family. Addiction treatment is not only striking at the heart of the individual’s pain, but it is aiming to fix a longer-lasting effect on those around them. At First Steps Recovery, we take into account both parties, aiming to serve everyone in a way that best serves them for the future. Health not only entails physical well-being but also emotional security. We want you to gain your happiness again, free from the worries of substance abuse. Fighting addiction is a reality that can be won. For more information, please call First Steps Recovery at (844) 489-0836.

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